Marriage

The Goal of Marriage is the Kingdom of God

/ davidsschrock

THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE IN THE PLEASURE OF ANOTHER

 

Here is a point to ponder.

Darby Livingston, pastor of Come As You Are Fellowship in Union City, OH, comments on 1 Corinthians 7:29, in his book The Pursuit of Pleasure in the Pleasure of Another: A Christian Hedonist Guide to a Happy Marriage (if you are not familiar with the term Christian Hedonism, coined by John Piper, see Pastor John’s explanation here).  Pastor Livingston writes:

 

 

“From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none”  (1 Cor. 7:29)  What does that mean?  Are we supposed to leave our spouses?  NO! [Capital letters mine]… We’re just supposed to be gospel-centered whether single or married.  The gospel isn’t to be used to build better marriages, though sermons and books abound on that topic.  Just the opposite is true.  Marriage is to be used to expand the Kingdom of God through the gospel.  In saying that men with wives should live as though they had none, Paul is saying that the gospel has invaded this evil world and has flipped past priorities on their heads.  Our priority before believing the gospel may have been to build a comfortable little life with our spouse and pray we live long enough to enjoy the fruit of our labor [Ecclesiastes 9:9 does say as much].  Our priority since believing the gospel must be to use every temporal blessing, including marriage, as the means of advancing God’s Kingdom on earth (Darby Livingston, The Pursuit of Pleasure in the Pursuit of Another [USA: Xulon Press, 2007], 124).

In John Piper-esque fashion, Pastor Livingston challenges comfortable Christian marriages, to count the cost, pick up the cross, and carry the gospel.  This is not optional, this is essential.  Overstating his case, Livingston says that “the gospel isn’t to be used to build better marriages.”  Clearly this is not true in and of itself.  The gospel of Jesus Christ does build better marriages.  However, in context his point is dead on!  Good marriages are not the final goal.  The gospel is!  And marriages are to orient themselves around this reality.  As Jesus says with similar hyperbole, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26).  In stating his case this way, Pastor Livingston is simply paraphrasing the words of our Lord, and challenging Christian couples to live lives of discipleship.  

Though, I have only read a few chapters of Livingston’s book, I commend it to you as a book that will help you see the glory of God in your marriage and to live radically for the kingdom of God.  If you are a Christian Hedonist, this book is for you; if you are not yet a Christian Hedonist, I would encourage you all the more to check it out.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

The Story of Marriage

/ davidsschrock / 1 Comment

Christopher Ash, in Married for God, writes:

The Bible tells many stories of human marriage, both good and bad, from Adam and Eve through Abraham and Sarah, David and Bathsheba, and countless others. All of them, one way of another, are stories of dysfunctional people in spoiled relationships.

But above these stories the Bible tells a bigger story, the story of a marriage which includes within itself the whole history and future of the human race. It is the story of God the Lover, the Bridegroom, the Husband, and his people his people Beloved, his Bride, and in the end his Wife. It is the story that John the Baptist had in mind when he spoke of Jesus as the ‘Bridegroom; (John 3:25-30), and the story that Jesus himself accepted when he spoke of himself as the ‘Bridegroom’ (e.g. Matthew 9:14-15). It is the story of Paul referred to when he spoke of the church in Corinth as being ‘engaged’ to Jesus Christ like a pure virgin (2 Corinthians 11:2) (Christopher Ash, Married for God, 166).

Supplying his line of thought with more biblical content, the biblical story of marriage is a story that begins with the first union in the Garden of Eden and climaxes with the marriage supper of the Lamb in the Book of Revelation. It is a story of love created, love lost, love promised, love received, and love consummated. It is a story that sounds too good to be true, and yet it is a story more true than any storybook love affair in novels or the news.  It is a story that centers around the king and his bride (cf. Psalm 45). It is a story of a lover and his beloved (i.e. Song of Songs). Tragically, it is also a story of wife who becomes a harlot and prostitutes herself to the nations (cf. Ezekiel 16 and Hosea). Yet, the love of the husband will not be overcome.  The rest of the story concludes with the husband’s redeeming, willing, and cleansing sacrifice restoring his bride to new life (cf. Eph. 5:22-33). Consequently, it is in the end a story of forgiveness, of a husband who searched the marketplace to find his estranged wife, who paid the highest price for her return, and who lovingly and mercifully restored her beauty and radiance to the kind never before seen in a bride. And it is the story of a wedding day that never ends for those who participate in the wedding of the Lamb (Rev. 19:6-10).

And it can be your story if you will turn to the pages of Scripture, read, and believe.  Christopher Ash continues:

It is the story that John speaks of in the visionary imagery of Revelation 19 and 21. The metaphors are mixed and the language is vivid and suggestive; we cannot read it literally and it would not be possible to make a film of this imagery. At the climax of human history John hears the announcement made, “The marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7). The Lamb, the Lord Jesus Christ himself, is to be married at last. His Bride is his people, every believer of all time, corporately to be joined to him forever in union of unmixed delight and intimacy. This is a time of joy and amazement” (166-67).

This is the story of marriage in the Bible. From the beginning, God’s aim with marriage was the final marriage–Christ and the church.  In the garden, the first marriage was for the purpose of the last, and every engagement, wedding, and marriage that has followed has been an eschatological image designed to reflect the final marriage. As a result, our marriages do not stand in the way to that final marriage, they are instead an invitation to come, taste, and see the goodness of the God’s marriage to humanity in the Christ-church mystery (Eph. 5:31).  This marriage is now offered to each husband, wife, or single who will respond to Jesus’ invitation to know him and love him and dwell with him forevermore.  In this way, all of our love stories–past, present, and future–fit into the grand narrative of the Creator of Marriage and the Redeemer of humanity.

As we abide in and enjoy our marriages, may we lift our eyes to a greater union, and with anticipation and hope look forward to our forthcoming union with our loving savior.  Until that day…

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Marriage: An Evangelistic Conversation Starter

/ davidsschrock

A good friend of mine, Jedidiah Coppenger, who happens to be the new basketball coach at Boyce College, and who blogs with some quality brothers at Baptist21, recently posted a reflection on trends in evangelism that he has experienced as a cell phone salesman.  Throughout more than two years of work three things stood out as counter-cultural evangelistic conversation starters: family, work, and marriage.  His thoughts on marriage correspond with many of the things I have reflected on over the last couple months.  Listen to what he says:

First, a biblical view of marriage seems to be a significant place for evangelistic conversations. Sadly, it seems like most Christians look at marriage the same way that they look at the American Post Office. They don’t care how the Post Office orders itself, just as long as it delivers. Likewise, they don’t care how the marriage is ordered, just as long as it lasts. There is something attractive about this approach in light of the divorce-ridden culture in which we live. After all, some say, with as much divorce as there is, do whatever you can! This type of attitude will be well accepted by your lost coworkers and the culture at large.

But cultural accommodation isn’t the goal. After all, you won’t find a Bible verse saying, “Marriage is so hard that you should do whatever works best for you personally. The ordering that works best your marriage may or may not work for another. Just make what you can of it. Good luck.” Instead, you’ll find very clear directions from the Apostle Paul on the most volatile part of marriage, how the couple should relate to one another. The Apostle says that “the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23) and that wife should submit to her husband as the church does to Christ (Eph. 5:24). So the husband is placed in a position of authority and the wife in a place of support. Both, of course, stand before God as equals (1 Pet. 3:7), but they serve distinctly.

Will this solve all of the marital problems? Of course not. We are all sinners. But with more Christian husbands seeking conformity to the headship displayed by Jesus as he gave his life for the good of his bride on the cross, the role of the husband as leader will look less like a privilege and more like a glorious burden. And if more Christian wives joyfully submit to their husband’s leadership like the church does to her husband, Jesus, then the role of a submissive wife will look less like a prison and more like a place of freedom and joy. Marriages like this won’t make you popular, but they will be used of God to make you holy. And, by God’s grace, as more Christian marriages conform to the Christ-church picture in the midst of a culture that will continue to glorify christ figures (husbands) who forsake their brides, the curiosity of more unbelieving coworkers and neighbors will be awakened. Hopefully, through consciences that know something has been lost, these friends will ask us for the reason for the order in our homes. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to point them to the order in the household of God.

I wholeheartedly agree.   May we who love the gospel order our homes and our marriages in such a way that our lives confront disinterested family members, co-workers, and neighbors with a kind of marriage that does not fit the 21st Western mold.  By ordering our marriages and conducting ourselves according to a heavenly logic, we can better tell the world of the Christ-church mystery that they were created to enjoy.  As Jed asserts, this won’t make us popular, but perhaps for those who have eyes to see it will make the gospel persuasive–which is far more important.  Lets pray and work towards that end!

You can read the rest of his post here.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Otto Piper on Marriage, pt. 2

/ davidsschrock

Otto Piper’s book on marriage, The Biblical View of Sexuality and Marriage (1960), is a helpful treatise on the subject, and it is filled with refreshingly biblical explanations and meditations on sex and marriage.  Some of these ideas were posted earlier, and today we will consider a few more of his statements.

The Goal of Marriage: Piper writes, “Husband and wife can have personal fellowship by engaging in common service for others, by sharing some mutual responsibility for other people, by cultivating common friendships or by developing some common interests” (135). For the Christian nothing could be more important than the cooperative work of co-laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, to tell the world about Jesus, to serve Christ in his church, and to raise a family that reflects the love of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Piper continues accordingly, “The purpose of the marriage has been sought, among other things, in the service thereby rendered to the state or nation, or in the happiness thereby provided, or in the procreation and rearing of children. Important as these purposes are, they represent only certain aspects of marriage never indicate its ulimate goal” (137).

The conclusion Piper is driving towards is that the ultimate goal of marriage must be a life-long union that envisions glorifying Christ and the church as its chief aim. Through a marriage that reflects that Divine Union, God’s redemptive purposes are advanced and heavenly joy is imported into the Christian family.  The goal of marriage then, in a fallen world, is to cooperatively carry forth the gospel of Jesus Christ and fulfill the great commission, making disciples of the nations–which is not coincidentally similar to the original command to “be fruitful and multiply.”

Marital Discipleship is Necessary for God-Glorifying Marriages: Piper continues to elaborate on the ultimate purpose for marriage and the need to instruct young couples. For Christians, the purpose in “marriage is an alliance of two persons who, notwithstanding their physical nature and their sexuality, are members of the Body of Christ, and who therefore share the mystery of Christ’s union with the Church. It is from this fact that the standards of married life are to be derived. Of course, not all Christian couples are clearly aware of this mystery when they marry. We may even safely assume that the social function of marriage is uppermost in the minds of most couples who stand before the pastor. All the more important, therefore, is it that instruction concerning the Christian view of marriage should be given to confirmands and couples asking for a wedding if our generation is to attaind to a renewed, deepened, and genuinely Christian understanding of marriage (138). 

In a world that instructs us to rebel against God and his designs in our life and relationships, it should come as no surprise, that young couples entering into marriage are deletriously affected by their ambient culture.  Even Christian couples, on the whole, have little idea how influenced their views of sex, intimacy, communication, and happiness are by secular media, feminist ideals, and wordly philosophies.  Marriages that will most glorify God are those that from the beginning confess their ignorance and antagonism towards God’s designs.  In other words, admitting the latent patterns of sinfulness present in their unions, these married couples humbly and boldy repent of their worldliness and sin.  Turning to God’s design for marriage instead, they are through the power of the Spirit seek to grow in the grace God has given them in the reconciling work of Jesus Christ, the recreative work of the Holy Spirit, and the illuminating work of the Word of God to renew their minds and repattern their marriages after his divine design.  This is nothing new.  This is simply discipleship in the realm of marriage.

The Value of a Public Wedding: Piper also addresses the role public ceremonies for weddings serve.  “A word needs to be said here about the wedding ceremony as a means of grace . [By this he does not mean marriage as a sacrament or an infusion of grace]. The benediction pronounced by the pastor is no mere formality, or simply a nice looking appendage to the civil ceremony as many a young people seems to think. In the church ceremony the spouses publicly affirm their membership before the congregation, and thus they confess that they regard their union an expression of their Christian lives and of their desire to live them according to the Biblical understanding. The Church’s prayer and benediction form the congregation’s response to the couple’s declaration. The wedding ceremony, therefore, is not a mere public proclamation of the divine blessing promised to a Christian couple but also a valid offer of the great and real blessings that by God’s will the Church has to share with spouses. The minister communicates to them the portion they have in all those gifts of the Holy Spirit which they need in order to make theirs a Christian marriage” (171).

In this way, the public, ecclesial ceremony affords the energetic couple the chance to breath life into the congregation as they covenant together to love one another. Such a commitment reflects the Christ-church mystery, and it shows members and visitors an ultimate cosmic reality of Christ and his bride. At the same time, the church’s witness says something to the couple. It affirms the sanctity of marriage and with kingdom authority (cf. Matthew 16:18ff) it promises to enact discipline on the young couple if ever they seek divorce and defame their portrait of Christ and the church. The church is the authorized agent to hold the couple responsible to perform the vows spoken in their midst. In this way, the loving couple’s marriage is ratified by the church and the church itself is strengthened by a visible display of its forthcoming marriage to Christ.

Marriage as the Great Lighthouse: Piper writes on the role Christians should play in legislating sexuality. He says, “We believe the State acts in its own best interest by furterhing the Christian evaluations of marriage, and the Church must insist upon its right publicly to proclaim its interpretation. However, the strongest defense against un-Christian concepts of sex is to be found in Christian marriage. The light of faith shine to all in the house. By way of conduct Christians demonstrate the superiority of their ideal of marriage. Where it is lacking all prohibitions against adverse propaganda are valueless, because the Christian ideal seems to be of doubtful value to its own advocates” (181).

Piper’s evaluation is balanced and prophetic. Christian activists who lobby against same-sex marriages, but live in egalitarian marriages devoid of gender roles undermine their message.  They are imaging a heterosexual “same-sex marriage.”  Likewise, those who advocate  laws against polygamy, but who themselves are unbiblically divorced and remarried fail to see the connection.  They are serial polygamists themselves.  Consequently, Christian marriages will have the greatest voice in a dark and dying world when they begin to practice what  Bible teaches.  When Christian marriages take seriously the commands of Scripture and rest securely on the Rock of Jesus Christ, it is then that they will begin to have testimonies, in word and deed, that will catch the attention of the world.  Until then, Piper’s analysis will be the sad case because Christian marriages that fail to live up to the ideals they defend will be scoffed at by the world and ultimately discounted.  The result is that the light of Christ meant to be reflected in marriage is put under a basket (Matt. 5:15).  Since Christians are to be lighthouses (Matt. 5:14; Phil. 2:15), brightly illuminating the world with the light of Christ, we must strive with Holy Spirit power and Christ-like tenacity to see Christ and the church modeled in our homes.  For more than the preservation of our families–though for that reason, too–but in order that the world will take notice of what a true marriage is and come to see that God’s design for marriage is better than any man-made alternative, and that ultimately they who reject God’s pattern for marriage will give praise to our Father for the superior wisdom of marriage (Matt. 5:16) and that perhaps they themselves may desire to be a part of Christ’s bridal party (Matt. 22:1-14; 25:1-12).

May we all who know the Savior, strive to have such Spirit-filled, Christ-exalting, gospel-telling marriages, by the Grace of God.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Marriage: A Theological Helpmate

/ davidsschrock / 1 Comment

Have you ever reflected on how indebted Systematic Theology is to Marriage? Have you considered how many doctrines are improved by the biblical teaching on marriage and the earthly reality of this blessed institution? Moreover, have you thought about how many doctrines would be lacking nuance and passion without the marital imagery employed by Scripture to flesh out these truths? Or finally, have you paused to think about how your own marriage has enhanced your understanding of sin, sanctification, the gospel, and eschatology, or any other biblical or theological truth? I have been thinking a lot about this lately, and here are a few doctrines inspired and improved by marriage:

The Attributes of God are impoverished without marriage–in particular, the love of God. God who is love (1 John 4:18) is most passionately displayed in the passages of Scripture that demonstrate his love for his people as the kind a lover has for his bride (Zeph. 3:17-18). Take away the Song of Songs and a gaping hole is left in the Scriptures to be able to understand the zealous love God has for his treasure–the blood bought bride of Christ. God’s love sings, but without marriage there be no such occassion for songs of love.

Ecclesiology, or the nature of the Church, is emptied without the Bridegroom and the Bride. Remove Ephesians 5:22-33, which speaks of the glories of marriage and the mystery of Christ and the church, and you lose the loftiest description of what the church is to be like. Moreover, without Ephesians 5 the picture of Christ’s faithfulness to wash his bride and make her spotless and radiant is depleted. The tenderness and power of God’s sanctification is portrayed in Christ washing his bride clean (cf. Ezek 16).

The doctrine of Justification is a public declaration of a new legal status. Marriage does the same thing, and provides a wonderful analogy to understand this doctrine. An impoverished woman, who is doted on and loved by a kind suitor, is made in an instant the heir of all his wealth, reputation, and regard. How? Through the pronouncement of vows and the recognition of witnesses. This is just like justification by faith. So it is with justification by faith. We who trust in Christ for our lives and our righteousness find ourselves unified to him as a committed wife, one absolutely dependent on his leadership, and one who gladly exchanges our old name for a new.

This marital analogy also applies to understanding the New Covenant. Surely covenants were made throughout the Bible between males and co-laborers (cf. Jacob and Laban), but all of these covenants were devoid of love. In marriage, covenant faithfulness meets sublime love and tender mercies. In this, marriage serves as a picture of the new covenant with Jesus Christ. Whereas the old covenant could be construed as a workman’s contract, the new covenant is certainly the bond of a husband and a wife.

The converse to faithful marriage–adultery and divorce–also speaks to doctrinal matters. Harmatiology, the doctrine of sin, is improved (if you can or should say such a thing) by the devastating effects that a broken marriages depict. In other words, in divorce and adultery, sin is seen in its baldest form. The wickedness of a man who forsakes the woman he loves, or loved, unveils the wretchedness of humanity, the total depravity of the human condition. Moreover, adultery which breaks the covenant to ones spouse invokes a response of jealousy and rage. This it would seem is the fire necessary to destroy the covenant breaker. In this jealousy, hell is inflamed. God will punish in hell those who have broken covenant with him, those who have run out to adulterate themselves with this world (James 4:4), and have willingly rejected God’s kind offer to renew their vows through repentance and return. Without marriage though, the ravaging effects of sin would not be as clear.

Finally, without marriage, Eschatology would be neutered. The doctrine of last things is filled with joy for so many reasons, but the crown jewel of the coming millenium and the return of Christ is the marriage feast with the lamb. Oh, how I look forward to that day! But without marriage and the joyous occassions of weddings that mark our calendars, we would be less informed about the joy and purpose of two souls joining as one. But with marriage, we understand and are enlightened to the hope of a eschatological marriage that will be forever and without end. The celebrations we experience now in this age when a man and woman join together in holy matrimony are but dim reflections of the cosmic celebration that is coming soon (Rev. 19:6-10).

These are just some of the ways marriage informs our theology. God has given marriage to all humanity for pleasure, procreation, and purity (no particular order), but it seems that he has also given it as a picture for us to see him more clearly. May we with the light of Scripture embrace our spouses and consider the biblical teaching on marriage so that we might better know our Lord.

Lord Jesus, thank you for marriage…For the wife you have given me…For the biblical portrait of marriage…And for the way you have designed it to reveal to us your glory and your goodness. Amen.

Marriage: A Heavenly Sculpture Formed From Earthly Clay

/ davidsschrock


In his popular-level book on marriage, Married for God,Christopher Ash relates a story from Britain that illustrates the way that marriage is expressly intended to display the lovingkindness of God.

Some years ago I read of a dispute in Britain between the Foreign Office and the Treasury. The argument was about which British Ambassadors would be provided with a Rolls Royce for their official duties in a foreign capital [sic]. The Treasury unsurprisingly wanted the wonderful cars restricted to a few: perhaps Washington, Moscow, and Paris. The Foreign Office argued for many more and I love the reasoning. Most people in a foreign capital [sic] have never been to Britain, they said. But when they see this magnificent car gliding through the streets with the Union flag on the bonnet, they will say to themselves, “I have not been to Britain. I don’t know much about Britain. But if they make cars like that there [and in those days we did!], then Britain must be a wonderful place.

In a similar way, I like to think that men and women may say to themselves as they watch a Christian marriage: “I have never seen God. Sometimes I wonder, when I look at the world, if God is good, or if there is a God. But if he can make a man and woman love one another like this; if he can make this husband show costly faithfulness through sickness as well as health; if he can give him resoucres to love when frankly there is nothing in it for him; well, then he must be a good God. And if he can five this wife grace to submit so beautifully, with such an attractive gentle spirit under terrible trials, then again he must be a good God. If you are married or preparing for marriage, pray that others might be able to say this of you in the years ahead (Christopher Ash, Married For God:Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be [Leicester: Inter-Varsity Press, 2007],96).

Christopher Ash’s analogy points to the way God has designed marriages to radiate His glory and reveal truth about His faithfulness and love. In the human clay of marriage, God has imprinted his heavenly signature, and men and women who are joined by him have the dignified privilege of serving as heavenly ambassadors in a fallen world. Such a living portrayal of God’s love is neither optional or incidental, it is God’s design and his desire for every marriage–Christian or otherwise. Of course, patterned after Jesus Christ and his bride, only those marriages founded on Christ and filled with the Spirit are able to fully reflect his glory (cf. Matt. 7; Eph. 5:18). Nevertheless, every truly Christian marriage should invite others–married couples and interested singles–to experience the increasing depths of heavenly intimacy had in the display of Jesus’ redemptive love portrayed in marriage.

Reading Ash’s account challenges those married or soon to be married to consider how your own marriage discloses or covers Christ and the Church, the love of God, and the blessed hope of union with Christ at the end of the age, to name a few. Marriage was not ultimately created to provide temporal pleasures in a rough-and-tumble world; it was created to picture a greater reality that might draw all the nations into the gracious embrace of the Risen Savior. While providing wonderful pleasures, marriage points to a greater and more lasting union– the marriage feast with the lamb of God (Rev. 19:6-10).

May our marriages grow in the glory of God’s love, and may a skeptical world be awakened by the light of Christ shining forth from our Christ-centered marriages.

Sola Deo Gloria,dss

More Vaughan Roberts: The Goal and Glory of Marriage

/ davidsschrock / 1 Comment


In his book, God’s Big Design: Life as He intends it to be, Anglican Rector Vaughan Roberts devotes a chapter to “God’s Design for Sex and Marriage.” In the chapter, he makes a three-fold assertion: God is for sex; Sex is for marriage; and Marriage is for life. Unpacking these premises, Roberts reiterates the point that the ultimate goal of marriage is more than relational companionship and the alleviation of loneliness, and that the glory of marriage is not found in the mere ability to achieve marital bliss but in the couple’s invitation to reflect Christ’s marriage to the church. His comments are worth pondering.

The Goal of Marriage:

Mutual delight was never intended to be the ultimate goal of the relationship. The words of Genesis 2:18 must be understood in context. God has issued the creation mandate: human beings are to “be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 2:18). In Genesis 2:15 Adam is placed in the Garden of Eden and commanded “to work it and take care of it.” It is immediately after that command that God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” The natural thought from the low of the test, therefore, when we are told that Adma needs a “helper,” is that this is connected with the work that he has been given to do. He needs some one to come to his aid for he cannot do this work “alone” (78-79).

Quoting Christopher Ash, Marriage: Sex in the Service of God, Roberts continues],

“Marriage is given to enable humankind to exercise responsible dominion over God’s world.”  So, far from being inward-looking , a married couple should be looking upward to God and outward to the world in which he calls them to seve him. “In the Bible’s perspective the way forward is neither via individual autonomy nor introspective companionship, but in the joyful shared service of God” (79).

Roberts admonition flies in the face of therapeutic resolutions to marriage problems.  Its powerful implication is that it challenges couples encountering the corrosive effects of interpersonal sin to abandon the marriage retreat and go on a short-term mission trip.  (Point of clarification: I think marriage retreats are good and necessary, but short-term service better).  Rather than introspectively dividing character qualities into strengths and weaknesses, the goodness of marriage is found in shoulder-to-shoulder service where the object of compassion is a stranger, a widow, or an orphan.  If this does not produce spiritual fruit and sanctification, what will. 

Consider, why is it that so many empty-nester get divorces?  Could it be that their season of mutual service has ended and they are no longer working together on a common task?  They are no longer serving their children together and thus marital fidelty and cooperation has lost focus.  Roberts biblical exhortation is for all married couples to take seriously the original tasks (i.e. be fruitful, multiply, increase, and subdue) and to do it together.  Looking upwards to God and outwards to others, husbands and wives find their ultimate purpose in fulfilling the Great Commission in uniquely masculine and feminine ways.  Walking together with different gifts and abilities, these purpose-driven (excuse the expression) marriages co-labor for the sake of the kingdom.

The Glory of Marriage:

Marriage is a picture of the relationship of Christ and his church. The apostle Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and comments, “This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). He is saying that the fundamental relationship is between Christ and his people. There is no deeper, more profound marriage than that. The marriage of a man and a woman is just a shadow of the marriage between Christ and his church. It is not that human marriage provides a useful illustration for Bible writers to use to speak of the relationship between God and his people; it is the other way round. The relationship between Christ and his church comes first; human marriage is patterned after it” (85).

Which means that from before the foundation of the world, God was thinking about marriage. As He was forming Eve in the Garden from Adam’s rib, our Heavenly Father was anticipating and preparing the way for His Son’s union with his bride–the church. So then the last marriage is first, and all earthly marriages serve as eschatological signs of the marriage of the Alpha and Omega, the first and the last. This cosmic representation heightens the importance of our marriages and the necessity for preserving them from the pollution of this world. Roberts concludes by emphasizing the Christ-church mystery which “underlines the importance of faithfulness. [God] never breaks his promises and he expects the same commitment in our marriages with one another” (85).

It is a glorious mystery and privilege when a man and woman marry.  Their marriage actually participates in the cosmic story of redemption, and their sexual union bears witness to the eschatological hope of consummation with Christ. It causes us to pause and to ponder the goodness and wisdom of God.  Moreover, reflecting on the heavenly origins of marriage elevates the value of our own marriages in a culture that consumes relationships like Chinese take-out.  The Divine Marriage dignifies human marriages so much more than relational consumerism.

May we live counter-cultural lives and love our wives for the sake of Jesus Christ and his bride, the church!

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Otto Piper on Marriage

/ davidsschrock / 1 Comment

Today’s Christian supermarkets (a.k.a. bookstores) are filled with books on marriage, relationships, and sexuality.  The plethora of writings is indicative of a culture and a church trying desperately to find solid ground on which to build its marriages.  Unfortunately, a cursory overview of these books reveal the shallowness, the pragmatism, and the wordly accomodation that inculcates the Christian market for marital help.  Yet, on rare occasions, biblically-grounded and theologically-faithful works arise.  Books like God, Marriage, and Family (Kostenberger), Marriage:Sex in the Service of God (Ash) and God and Marriage (Bromiley) eschew pragmatism and embrace instead a rich biblical theology.  Another book of this kind is Otto Piper’s The Biblical View of Sex and Marriage (New York: Scribners, 1960).  Published nearly a half-century ago, its nomenclature is antiquated and its situational applications are out of date, but aside from its mid-twentieth century context, its biblical material is helpful.  In a sea of marriage manuals, it provides a sturdy raft on which to rest.

In addressing the topic of sexuality and marriage, Dr. Piper, a former professor of New Testament at Princeton, surprised me with his generally positive assessment of Scripture.  Though, I would disagree with him on the finer points of doctrine, he upholds the functional authority and veracity of the Scripture.  He calls his view of Scripture, “Biblical Realism,” and he says in his intro, “With the older Biblicism it [i.e. Biblical Realism] agrees that the Bible is God’s Revelation and that we may therefore confidently turn toward the Scriptures in search for the ultimate truth concering man’s predicament (vi).”  Such a foundation puts him at odds with modern philosophy and psychology, but this is not a problem for Piper as is evident in his clear assetion, “I confess that… more light has come to me from the wisdom of ancient times than from modern speculations” (vii).  Finally, concerning his approach to the Bible and his topic, he observes that the Biblical Realist “learns from the attitude God takes toward sex that it has its metaphysical dignity and is no mere shortcut to pleasure, and also that far from being unessential for the constitution of true life it is used by God as the means for execution of his redemptive plans” (vii).  In short order, Piper affirms the centrality of Scripture and the biblical role of human sexuality and marriage to bring about the redemptive purposes of God.  The rest of his book fleshes out this reality, and it does so with cogent exposition of the Scriptures and with helpful ethical synthesis. 

Consider some of his thoughts that unite marriage with the purposes of God in redemption:

Concerning the Divine Marriage: The consummation of the Divine Marriage has been the God-intended goal for makind from the very beginning.  Therefore, the History of Salvation proves to be the gradual realization of this purpose.  The relationship between God and His people grows more intimate as time goes on, and a steadily deepeend understanding of the nature and goal of the mutual realtisonship of the sexes is thereby attained.  On the other hand, the history of sexual relationship in mankind is evidence the Divine Marriage operates everywhere as the basic pattern of sexual life (78).

Relationships That Foster Maturity Serve God: Those who believe that sex is meant to serve the purposes of God and not those of individual men and women will also be ready to notice the darker side of the relationship…Therefore, the misanthropist’s absolute withdrawal into isolation, as well as the exclusive association with members of one’s own sex, finally poisons the spirits of personality.  In many instances the spinster, the bachelor, and the habitues of bachelor clubs are types of atrophied humanity.  They are unlikable and humanly unproductive not because they have not married but because they have cut off their manhood and womanhood from the other sex.  This is confirmed by the fact that there are unmarried persons of both sexes who are highly enjoyable because they have retained their ability infromally to mix with people of both sexes far into old age (79-80).

The Role of Sex in Redemptive History: Sex has therefore not only made possible the subsequent history of mankind but also provided the opportunity both for the Incarnation and also for that body which the Saviour forms for Himself in the Church (81).

God’s Affirmation of Sex in Submission to God’s Sovereign Plan: The many serious warnings sounded against sex in the Bible, and particularly in the New Testament, are only limiting qualifications of a fundamentally affirmative attitude towards sex.  They are intended to remind the believer that there are situations and times where the boundaries of sexual life must be drawn in bold lines, because with all the marrying and giving in marriage people are prone to forget that this earthly life is not an end in itself.  Man is called upon to be God’s servant in the execution of His plans of history.  There are instances in which in the service of God celibacy is the right thing to choose for a person.  However, any unequivocal negation of sex is in opposition to God’s redemptive work and celibacy as a general demand for all people is therefore branded as a doctrine of the devil [1Tim. 4:1-3] (84).

In creating mankind male and female (Gen. 1:26) and in designing a repeating pattern of marriage in this world  (Gen. 2:24), God was from the start establishing millions of raindrops that would one day reflect the multivarigated glory of Jesus Christ cosmic marriage to his redeemed people.  In this, God’s plan of redemption was not secondary, nor were his purposes for marriage auxiliary.  Marriage was created with Jesus Christ in mind, and you, if you are a part of his church body.  Meditating on the Scriptural relationship between marriage and redemption is edifying for the individual marriage and exhilirating as the cosmos moves forward towards the final marriage feast.  May we who know Christ continue to ponder our eschatological union with him, and may those who do not yet call Jesus “Lord” be turned to the savior over and again as you see broken and beautiful marriages all around you–the former pointing you to something more and the latter enticing you to come to Christ and adore.  Until he comes may our marriages make us pant for his presence.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Vaughan Roberts on Marriage

/ davidsschrock

Vaughan Roberts is gifted in saying a lot in a very little space. His books God’s Big Picture:Tracing the storyline of the Bible, Life’s Big Questions: Six major themes traced through the Bible, and God’s Big Design: Life as he intends it to be are outstanding in their ability to convey biblical theology in accessible language. In an ongoing effort to consider a biblical theology of marriage, let me highlight a few cogent remarks by the Anglican Rector.

The relationship between God and his people… is not referred to as marriage until some way into the Bible, but the image becomes increasingly important until it reaches its culmination with the description of the heavenly marriage of the Lamb in the book of Revelation.  But we should not think of this marriage simply as an image that has been imported from human relationships to help us understand spiritual realities.  The apostle Paul assumes that the archetypal marriage is between Christ and his people and not the human relationship between a man and a woman.  [Roberts quotes from the NDBT], “Human marriage is not the reality of for which Christ and the church provide a sermonic illustartion but the reerse.  Human marriage is theearthly type, pointing towards the heavenly reality (V. Roberts, Life’s Big Questions [Leicester: IVP, 2004], 64).

Tracing marriage through eight developmental stages of the kingdom, Roberts speaks of the marital allusions found when Israel encounters YHWH at Mt Sinai:

The occassion described in Exodus 24 has much in common with a marriage ceremony.  Two parties are committing themselves to one another in an exclusive relationship.  The Lord has already declared his love for Israel as his holy people, set apart from all the otehr tribes and nations of the earth.  Now the people bind themselves to him.  Just as a human couple ‘forsake all others,’ so Israel agrees to God’s commandments, all of which flow from the first: “You shall have no other gods before me” (67).

Moving from Israel to the New Testament Church, Roberts contrasts the uninvolvement of the modern bridegroom with the proactive nature of Jesus Christ in preparing himself a bride.  He writes:

The Divine Bridegroom is very different.  He could not ahve gone further in his efforts to ensure that his people will be perfect on their big day and he could not have paid a higher price; he died to make it possible.  There could be no more loving husband.  Because of his death for us, we are completely cleansed from sin the moment we respond with faith to the gospel.  Paul no doubt has the allegory of Ezekiel 16 in mind, with its story of a girl who is rescued, washed and clothed by the Lord.  [Quoting from Christopher Ash’s book on marriage, Roberts concludes]: The Christ/church parallel is not merely illustrative but the generating theological centre of his entire presentation” (78-79).

May we who struggle to accept the love of God–and we all do–meditate on God’s love found in the face of Jesus Christ, our heavenly bridegroom and our redeeming savior.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

Gender-Specificity and the Gospel of Jesus Christ

/ davidsschrock

When Paul speaks in Titus 2:1 about sound doctrine, he immediately turns to relationships. Rather than expatiating a systematic theology, Paul says that theology is worked out in the context of distinctly masculine and feminine roles, in youthful and elderly stages of life, and in varying spheres of leadership and influence (i.e. masters and slaves).  Clearly theology that is genuine is incarnated in the daily life of Christians.  In regards to husband and wife relations, Christopher Ash in his book Marriage: Sex in the Service of God  picks up this same idea– theologically-infused living– when he comments on another Pauline passage in 1 Corinthians 11.  He writes:

Paul’s teaching here (1 Cor. 11:2-16) seems to be conditioned by women (perhaps reacting against the abuses of patriarchy) behaving as if they can ‘go it alone’ in their behaviour, whether by ceasing to be gladly feminine or by reluctance to cooperate in the marriage partnership. By their contentious and disorderly behaviour they bring disrepute on the gospel. In the absence of proper order (which includes Christian subordination of the wife to the husband, and headship as sacrificial serving authority) there will be rivalry rather than partnership between the sexes. Perhaps in Corinth the women needed reminding both of their interdependence with the men and that they were made ‘for the sake of’ man, as partners in a shared God-given task. Disorder (and in particular a wrong attitude of subordination) leads to rivalry in which the weakest go to the wall; the task will be neglected. Proper order will promote sexual relations in the service of God (302).

Ash does not only address women but men as well.  Writing later in his book, he furthers his argument of gender-specific gospel living by saying:

The love of husband for wife is to be modelled on the cross. It is to be self-sacrificial love and not the self-serving enjoyment of some misguided privilege. Christian headship in marriage is marriage in the shape of cross; most contemporary debate misses this central point. For Christ to be head of the church was not a cheap or comfortable calling; it involved crucifixion (322).

The purpose of marriage then, says Ash, is that “the husband takes upon himself the goal of being such a husband whose love will lead his wife into growth in personal and spiritual maturity (for there is not dichotomy between these two), so that his greatest aim in marriage is not his self-fulfillment but the blossoming of his wife. ‘Husbands should be utterly committed to the total well-being, especially the spiritual welfare, of their wives’ (Peter O’Brien 1999:422-424). This might sound a little self-righteous, as if he from his Olympian spiritual height can raise up his wife to his level; it is in fact deeply humbling. No husband can take responsibility seriously without himself being deeply conscious of his own need for cleansing, holiness and growth in grace” (324).

“Both headship (expressed in sacrifice) and submissiveness (to unjust authority) are expressions of the way of the cross“ (327).

In these bold and counter-cultural statements, Christopher Ash is saying something twenty-first century Christians need to hear.  Both expressions of headship and submissiveness adorn the gospel of God and manifest, in part, the inner workings of the Trinity. In fleshing out male and female roles, husbands and wives, become more like the men and women God created them to be.  In other words, they more accurately display the gospel of Jesus Christ when they bear the fruits of biblical masculinity and feminity in the roles of head and helpmate.  Just as Jesus came as the perfect second Adam, so too married men and women, when they gladly take on their biblical roles, dignify humanity and call men and women living outside of God’s moral order to return to the truth. 

Realistically, the world’s response may not be commendation and praise, but rejection of the gospel light reflected in these godly marriages.  Nevertheless, when the world encounters a gracious patriarch willing to lay down his life for the care and protection of his family and gentle feminine companion unwilling to usurp his authority or combat his leadership, the world encounters something different, perhaps even transcedent.  When the world encounters a 1 Corinthians 11 woman or an Ephesians 5 man, it encounters a picture of Christ and the church! This is a powerful testimony and one the world can only hate. It cannot deny its Spirit-wrought reality!

May who claim the name of Christ all grow in grace and godliness, not as androgynous saints, but as brothers and sisters manifesting distinctly masculine and feminine godliness in the marriages God has given to us.

Sola Deo Gloria, dss