Then Peter came up and said to him,
“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times,
but seventy-seven times.
– Matthew 18:21–22 –

What happens when someone asks for forgiveness, but all outward signs indicate anything but a willing spirit? Is the offended party obligated to grant forgiveness the moment the offender says, “Will you forgive me,” or does it depend? If forgiveness depends on repentance, as Jesus says in Luke 17:3, just how much fruit is requisite for such repentance to be deemed genuine?

To put it into actual situations: Does the offended child whose sibling is forced to say “I’m sorry” have to mechanically say, “I forgive you”? Or to take it one step further, does the parent need to discipline the hesitating child for not offering forgiveness immediately?

What about the Christian family of a victim of violent crime, do they need to automatically grant forgiveness when the judge forces the criminal to issue an apology? Or are they permitted to consider the sincerity of the apology? Equally, should Christians forgive terrorists, who go to their deaths spewing hatred against their victims?

Or more basically, when pastors mediate conflict in the church, what is the proper response to a church member whose longstanding self-justification is suddenly reversed? Does the offended party need to issue an immediate grant of forgiveness? Or does the newfound repentance need time to settle? Equally, if the member will not forgive when repentance is genuine, what must be done then?

Fortunately, we are not the first generation to wrestle through such questions. And most recently, I came across an incredibly illuminating passage from John Calvin on Jesus’s teachings on forgiveness and repentance. Ever pastoral, Calvin provides some important qualifications for offering forgiveness, granting forgiveness, and even withholding forgiveness until repentance is deemed genuine.

Strikingly, Calvin does not suffer from our modern captivity to making others feel affirmed. Instead, he affirms the need to offer forgiveness to any and all who ask. But wisely, he also cautions Christians from mistakenly granting forgiveness prematurely. In his comments on Jesus’s teaching on forgiveness, he rightly urges Christians to extend grace in the same way they received grace. But also, he holds the line on repentance, stressing the importance of making sure repentance is genuine.

Having recently thought quite a bit about this very point, I offer six reflections on Calvin’s views on forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation. I have added his full comment at the bottom. Continue reading →