Willingly and Truthfully: How a Pastor Demonstrates His Love

herd of sheep on focus photography

The elder to the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, . . .
– 2 John 1 –

In 2 John 1, the Beloved Apostle declares his love for the church. This love is for the church (“the elect lady”), as well as for her members (“her children”), and it sets the tone for his whole letter. As John expresses it, his love motivates him to write, and his love leads him to warn the church against false teachers. Indeed, such is the love of a pastor. Love that is biblical must lead others to the truth. And any love devoid of truth is not truly loving.

Throughout the New Testament love and truth are joined as one. For example, Paul says that love always rejoices in the truth (1 Cor. 13:4). Likewise, John’s love for the church moves him to rejoice when God’s children are walking in truth (2 John 4). The author of Hebrews urges us to spur one another on towards love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24–25)—good deeds defined by the truth of Scripture. And even Jesus is identified as the one who is fullness of grace and truth (John 1:14, 17), or, as these two words come from the Hebrew pair hesed (lovingkindness) and emet (truth/faithfulness), he is full of love and truth. Just as John highlights in 2 John 3 reads, “Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love.

In short, those leading the church are to love the people of God in truth. Yet, to echo Pilate: What is truth? Or, for that is matter: What is love? In this blogpost, I will begin to explore that question: What does it mean for a pastor to demonstrate love?

Love Must Truth

In our modern age, love is defined by unbounded affirmation and the willingness to celebrate self-expression, whatever that expression may be. Accordingly, those who love in truth, or attempt to love others with the truth, may not be well-received. They may be hated!

For those catechized by the world and its therapeutic ideas of self-esteem, challenging someone may be received as harsh or even hateful. And more, any pastor who dares to disciple a church or a church member in ways that the recipient does not esteem acceptable may easily be assigned as unloving or even unsafe. In such a world, the truths of God’s Word do not change, but appreciation for them do. And thus, Christians face the difficulty of returning to the old paths.

In generations gone by, generations forged by Christian convictions, correction was received, if not pursued; authority was respected; and love was evidenced by service, sacrifice, and selflessness. Today, vestigial remains of true love remain, but not without careful attention to what love actually is and isn’t. And if this is true in general; it is especially true for pastors.

How do pastors love God’s church? What should congregations expect of those who lead them? And what does Scripture say about the pastor and his responsibility to love the flock? Those questions could easily invite a book on the subject, The Pastor and His Love perhaps. Yet, short of that project, let me offer two answers. And in the days to come, as the Lord allow, I’ll add more.

Two Truths About Loving Pastors

First, pastors must love the flock willingly.

Or to put it more textually, elders must shepherd the flock willingly. Writing as an elder, Peter says exactly this in 1 Peter 5:1–3.

So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in he glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

In this well-worn passage, Peter gives elders the motivations for service. In context, willingness is juxtaposed to compulsion. Faithful shepherds do not need to be forced to serve; they are not drafted, co-opted, or convinced to care for God’s people. Moreover, they do not quit when misunderstood, manipulated, or maligned.

Instead, true pastors love to feed, lead, protect, and pursue the sheep—no matter the cost. True pastors think, dream, scheme, and pray about the church. While some pastors may get paid to do it (1 Tim. 5:17–18), no pastor worth his salt (salary) serves for the pay. They serve willingly. And this willingness comes from a heart of love—love for God, for his word, and for his people.

To be sure, this love will look different for every pastor. Outgoing pastors may appear more loving than quiet and reserved pastors. The relational pastor may be the expected model for loving service, while the bookish pastor may look less loving, but for all pastors, love must be defined by something more than personality type. And thus, the place to begin is to see the way that a heart that freely serves the sheep is a heart of love.

Back to Peter. While 1 Peter 5 does not use the word “love,” it is fair to say that pastors demonstrate their love by serving God’s people without seeking personal benefit. Like Jesus, they are not to be hirelings (John 10:13), but trusted friends (John 15:15; cf. Zechariah 3), who will wash the feet of others willingly (John 13:31–35). Such washing may look like physical care, but even more it should be remembered that the word of God washes and the message of the cross cleanses (1 John 1:5–2:2). So, pastors must willingly wash dirty sinners with the Word, even as they themselves are being washed by Christ.

Going further, love moves a pastor to serve willingly in all seasons. Love impels a pastor to serve the church when those under their care respect them (1 Thess. 5:12–13) and when they treat him as an enemy (Matt. 5:44a). Truly, because the pastor’s calling is ultimately from the Lord, his willingness to serve is not dependent on the condition of the flock or the pleasant circumstances of the day. Instead, his willingness to serve comes from the never-ending love of God. And in this way, the church is protected from a pastor serving himself, or serving under the condition of favorable conditions. Loving pastors serve willingly.

Truly, willingness to serve that comes from a heart of love is best observed when things are hard and the pastor serves without complain. Indeed, loving shepherds will serve joyfully, because they see their service and their suffering as a precious gift from the Lord (Phil. 1:29). They are not looking to flock to fill up their love bucket. Instead, filled with the love of God that impels them to love others, they carry out their calling willingly.

Second, pastors must love the flock truthfully.

In 2 John, truth is a primary driver for John. Notice how the word repeats in the first three verses.

The elder to the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all who know the truth, ² because of the truth that abides in us and will be with us forever: ³ Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father’s Son, in truth and love.

In three verses, the word truth (alētheia) is used four times. First, John qualifies his love as being in and of the truth. This is more than just loving truly; it is love that accords with the truth (see 2 John 4–11). Second, John is associated with all those who know the truth. And this relationship in the truth is because he and those whom he serves are people of truth. In other words, as he puts it, “truth abides in us and will be with us forever.”

Going back to John’s Gospel, Jesus Christ is the Truth Incarnate (John 14:6). And when he died and rose again he sent the Paraclete, who is the Spirit of Truth (John 14:17; 15:26; 16:13; cf. 1 John 4:6). Accordingly, those who are born again are those who have been made alive by the Spirit of Truth and who have come to life by the word of truth, which the gospel.

Indeed, if the gospel is the word of truth, then the faithful pastor will be unswervingly committed to the truth. For indeed, and this is the fourth use of the word (2 John 3), the only way God’s people can commune with the Father and the Son is if the people of God are taught the truth in love. Or, to turn it around, faithful pastors love their people by giving them the truth and correcting them from error. This is a key point in 2 John. But it is also found in other epistles.

For instance, Paul speaks of this fact, when he says in 2 Timothy 4 that Timothy, a model for pastors, should preach the Word in season and out of season. In other words, whether the truth is beloved or not, loving pastors will speak the truth and they will “reprove, rebuke, and exhort” with the truth. Such is the ministry of the pastor. It is not a ministry of self-help, personal affirmation, or endless sunshine. Rather, loving pastors will deal honestly with sin and the habits of life that hinder individuals and that harm the church.

Accordingly, loving pastors must offer such correction “with complete patience and teaching.” The loving pastor cannot withhold the truth, but must learn how to speak clearly, plainly, and affectionately. Yet, such affection must continue to be manly, and not womanly.

Today, our longhouse culture (i.e., a culture that emasculates men and enthrones women) has done more than open the door to women in the pastorate. It has engendered a type of pastor that is soft in speech and effeminate in leadership. Whereas shepherds must drive off wolves and endure harsh conditions, today’s suburban pastors are easily inclined to please and too unwilling to correct. But look again at what Paul says in 2 Timothy 4:3–5.

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, ⁴ and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. ⁵ As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

Even if the work of an evangelist is something unique to Timothy, the work of gospel ministry is hard work. It needs strong men who will deal straight with the text and equally straight with the church. In this way, a loving pastor is a truth-telling pastor, or as John MacArthur has said, the preaching pastor must be “the truth guy.”

In an interview with the battle-tested pastor, MacArthur explained how soft preaching produces hard hearts, while hard preaching (about sin) produces soft hearts. This is love, to call out sin and to lead people to the cross of Christ.

In another biographical sermon about John Newton, John Piper spoke of the necessity for a pastor to be equally tough and tender. Truly, this is something the Spirit must do, for only he can develop both of these characteristics together. Yet, if God does it, pastors should still seek it cultivate. And churches should appreciate pastors who are not simply tender, but also steadfast and strong in the truth.

As the biblical image of shepherd teaches us, loving pastors are not soft men. Nor are loving pastors those who always affirm the desires of others. Rather, as John and Paul indicate, loving pastors must learn how to confront others who are headlong into sin and headstrong into error.

As with all ministry, proficiency to do this will only come with time. And sometimes pastors will hurt others by their clumsy efforts. In such cases, the bruises that come are not the result of bad men pastoring, but good pastors blundering in their care. At the same time, such conflict may also come from the hardness of those whom the lead. And more often, the weaknesses of elders and their church members work together to make the problem worse, before it gets better.

Oh, Lord, who is sufficient for these things?

Long story short, loving pastors trade in truth. They speak the truth plainly, and they love the church by means of commending the truth of God’s Word to all areas of life. Along the way, pastors can expect to be misjudged for speaking truth, or for attempting to speak truth. In such cases, pastors and members alike should remember that a loving pastor is one who is devoted to the truth and one who willingly exercises his spiritual authority to help others walk in truth.

Certainly, a passion for the truth, and for seeing people walk in truth, is not the only way that love is manifested. Nor, is truth-telling sufficient for a faithful, loving ministry. But a passion for the truth is foundational for all loving ministry. Any pastor who is not committed to the truth is not, by biblical standards, a loving pastor.

Therefore, let us pray for God to give his church pastors who love God’s people in truth. May the Lord raise up loving pastors who serve the church willingly and truthfully, so that the church might continue to grow in love and truth.